Tag Archive | school lies

Reasons to Document Verbal Abuse

Tonight, I read through a few of my blog posts from seven years ago. My thoughts and points about the situations seem perfectly reasonable and rational to me today. So, either that means I am still sick today in my thoughts … doubtful… or the situation was crazy… probable. Documentation may or may not be useful in court, but it is extremely useful for personal validation. Throughout the years I have continued going to therapy, reading self-help books, and going to self-help meetings. Plus, I am surrounded by friends who are healthy and trustworthy.

Personal Validation

In my blog post Validation – I am not Crazy I am discussing the situation with my ex-husband and his wife signing a power of attorney giving his girlfriend (later his wife) full parenting rights at school with our daughter. First, why would a father sign his rights over to a girlfriend? His decisions to not participate in parenting did not mean the school had rights to give his girlfriend the same rights as I had. So this was my primary concern was that the school told me his wife had the same parenting rights as I had with our daughter. This is not a right they had to give away, especially without my permission or notifying me. Plus, I was actively participating in her school activities and functions.

To this day, I have problems with how the school district behaved. I hope this type of situation is unique to this school district. The schools my daughter went to prior and after this situation have not behaved in that manor. This leads me to believe in the nepotism situation. Simply because she was a assistant school teacher in their school, they gave her extra rights, and  I do not believe they would have otherwise.

Interesting enough, I was posting about her inappropriate behavior that didn’t bother me at first. I wrote, “We love you and miss you pumpkin” signed his wife’s name. Little did I know this type of behavior would continue and excessively. At first, I thought maybe this is just a really kind woman who enjoys sending gifts to our daughter. If my ex-husband and his wife hadn’t been so manipulative on so many different occasions then it would be easy to overlook as nothing. The ongoing game suggests there are always motives at play.

Parenting and Abuse

In my next post, Keeping Children Out of the Middle, I discuss the challenges of preventing this unhealthy behavior from touching our daughter. It is true, once the school was involved with my ex-husband’s manipulative games; it was impossible to keep it from touching our daughter. Divorce is tough enough without adding any additional layers. The school should have been a neutral ground. School had been the one place where she could go that our divorce dysfunction wouldn’t touch her. After that, our daughter had to deal with divorce hell everywhere she went. The school didn’t protect our daughter. They shouldn’t have remained neutral. Thankfully, we never had this type of experience again with the school again.

My ex-husbands manipulations and abuse have been documented over and over again in my posts. Yet, today my daughter is living with her father. How does that happen? This situation is quite sick and twisted. There is no rhyme or reason. No rational or logical explanation. I just realize I have to be okay with the fact that I did the absolute best I could. That I truly had my daughter’s best interest at heart at all times. My best friend constantly says that I handled this better than most people would have under the circumstances. Maybe there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome.

Pain is for a Purpose

Also, I need to keep in mind that everything happens for a reason and/or purpose. It has been really easy to focus on the negative experiences over the past year and that type of thinking surely keeps me stuck. So I realize I need to change my thoughts with purpose. Maybe my daughter is away so I can get healthy and get some freedom away from my ex-husband. There has been a lot less communication with him since she left. Maybe the lesson here is for my daughter to gain a different perspective. Whatever the reason, I must remind myself that I trust my higher power (I choose to call my higher power God) and that means there are no mistakes.

Received a Letter from the School

I received  a rather interesting letter from my daughter’s school today regarding the complaints I had made.

School Web of Deception

The letter basically says that since my daughter is no longer a student their district they cannot hear any formal complaints.  They have closed all complaints regarding my daughter.

They CCd all the people involved in this complaint.  It certainly appears they were looking for that loop hole out of the mess they created.

However, they regret that I felt it necessary to bring forward complaints to the district.  I should be assured the complaints were fully investigated and appropriate action was taken (no action was taken), according to their board policy.  The policies were a complete joke, all they offered was lip service, and did everything they could to sweep the situation under the rug.

School Lies and Corruption

Never mind that my daughter caught her teacher in a lie as they tried to cover up the evidence of their inappropriate behavior.  Never mind that the school signed parenting rights away to a girlfriend who had no rights to be treated as anything more than a non-parent.

I am glad to be done with the complaints as it was a waste of time.  I truly hope all schools are not like this and we just had some misfortune.

I did send them a response by email asking them if they had any transfer papers to another school district.  As they do not have any such thing.  At this time she is still scheduled to attend a school within their district.  I would love to hear how they respond to that.  I guess it will give me something else to write about.

Read All Posts from this Story:
1) What a Tangled Web They Weave (first)
2) The Drama Continues and My Daughter Saw It (second)
3) The School Responds and Dismissed Everything (previous)
4) Received a Letter from the School (current)

The School Responds and Dismissed Everything

This post is a continuation from the post The Drama Continues and My Daughter Saw It regarding the school situation and the multiple violations of my rights as a parent and their school policies. Obviously this started by my abusive ex-husband‘s wife transferring to my daughters school last year.  I work so hard to try to keep her home life here stable and her school life should be neutral!  The school is my main focus because if they were doing their jobs this would not be happening.

What blows my mind about this is the way they swept the entire situation under the rug.  Do they not think I have better things to do then hire an attorney to write a complaint, transfer my daughter to another school, attend these meetings and miss work, and waste hours writing up the complaint?  I am alarmed by the lies and deceit at an elementary school.   How the school treats my daughter is extremely important, believing they are truly out for her best interests, that they would make her environment safe and peaceful….

I met with the Executive Director for Campus Administration Support on May 25th, 2010 to explain my concerns.

My three complaints were:
1. The principal tape recorded my daughter during a conversation held in her office without my approval.
2. The questions asked by the principal to my daughter were misleading.
3. After continued questions to my daughter the principal told my daughter to ‘guess’ the answers.

Their response:

~They claim my daughter was not tape recorded during the conference by the principal.   They claim there was a tape recorder in the office as a part of the principals supplies but it was not used during the conference.
~They claim the questions to my daughter were not misleading nor was there a need for lengthy elaboration in response especially with my being present during the conference.
~They claim that during the conference with the principal that my daughter did not have to make any guesses on her response. My daughter simply confirmed her response when questioned.

Their results:

‘As a result to their investigation, they have determined that neither the principal or the elementary school administrative staff committed any of the violations stated in your complaint.  That during their investigation it was revealed that the student planners are documented by the parent that 20 minutes of reading was done at home.  They state the school was concerned for the unusual check marks in the students planner but they were not made by the teacher.

They determined that the conference held with the principal, my daughter, and myself was dealt with professionally and with appropriate questioning and student response.’

Obviously I disagree with the school’s response to my concerns as they completely excused, dismissed, invalidated, and even outright lied in this complaint response. I fact it concerns me that they literally dismissed my every complaint without any further investigation.  My husband said he would love to know how it was investigated.  Did the Executive Director just go to the school and ask if it happened and they said No?

1. First of all there was recording, because I was present when she pressed stop and ejected the tape.   It is my belief that when I questioned this they made it disappear.
2. The questions were misleading as they immediately went from asking where she learned about the move and transfer and my daughter said from her step-mother.  Then went on to ask if I have ever discussed a transfer with her before.
3. Also the statement that the principal did not ask my daughter to guess and my daughter just confirmed responses.  I have a recording of this conversation.  This recording is a little muffled but you clearly can hear ‘Guess the Month’?
4. Also the modifying of the planner is not the point, it is the fact that they felt the need to go back and update the entire year to hide the fact that it was not consistent.  They claim the teacher did not change it, but it did happen in her classroom during specials, and my daughter noticed it.  The only other likely person it might have been would be her step-mother because she went back and added her signature to the entire year for Fridays.

In the conversation my daughter states that “My mom showed me the transfer…” that occurred just a few weeks ago when I printed out the papers and sat down and discussed that I felt it was best to switch schools.  After she saw her step-mother update her signature for the entire year she told me, “I understand why it would be best if I went to a new school.”

I just looked up Corrupt Schools and there is 6 million topics with those words.  Then you can also look up Corrupt School Board and find a tone of issues.  That is disturbing!

I probably need to take this up another level.  Part of me wants to let it go for my own sanity, the other part of me wants to take at as far up as I can until I figure out no one will listen or until someone does listen.

Read All Posts from this Story:
1) What a Tangled Web They Weave (first)
2) The Drama Continues and My Daughter Saw It (previous)
3) The School Responds and Dismissed Everything (current)
4) Received a Letter from the School (last)

The Drama Continues and My Daughter Saw It

Today was a pretty relaxing day, after releasing my emotions about all these things I have no control over, and turning them over I feel a huge weight off my shoulders.  I had a enjoyable day at work.

After school my daughter called me and I could tell right away something happened at school by the excitement in her voice.  She said, “Mom, my teacher got in my bag today and got my planner because she put it back upside down.”  I told her to go write this down so she wouldn’t forget.

I decided to encourage her to write in her journal almost every day and then she can take it to her counseling appointment and discuss it.  I think that will truly help her.

I sent a complaint to the principal and I probably will go through the motions of filing a level one complaint.  I have so many different complaints against them to keep them scrambling for the rest of the year.  What disturbed me about this was my daughter saw it and she said it was like lying.  She is right.  I told the principal in the message, “What kind of example does that give her for the future with teachers and how do you think that impacts her trust?”  I also asked why did they feel the need to go back and update what wasn’t done.  What did she have to say about that?

You know, one thing about people who lie, they do it again and again and eventually they get caught.  Now I went through her planner and marked all the days with the date if they checked it yesterday, today, or that there was no checkmark at all.  Good luck next week when they try to keep fixing it.  I guess they thought we wouldn’t notice.

At this point this is almost laughable.  This situation is really not humorous at all but it is so outrageous it is laughable… almost.  The school is proving themselves to be quite unethical, deceitful, and now I realize they have a little network of people who will try to cover things up.  I sure hope all schools are not like this.  I did not have these kind of problems with the school before my ex-husbands girlfriend (now wife) transferred there.

Dishonesty – Procedures for Teachers – Religion and Ethics

When Teachers Lie

Read All Posts from this Story:
1) What a Tangled Web They Weave (previous)
2) The Drama Continues and My Daughter Saw It (current)
3) The School Responds and Dismissed Everything (next)
4) Received a Letter from the School